bittersweet

Now might not be the best time to second-guess myself, but I am. What the hell am I doing? I leave for Fiji in one week. 7 days. A very busy 7 days. And I'm scared. There I said it.

I was driving down to Indy yesterday, on my way to a college reunion/sleepover party (rad) and I got choked up because I already missed my friends and family. I feel like such a cry baby, but I don't want to leave my loved ones. I've never been on a trip alone before. I've always traveled with people I know or really good friends/family. This is just Amy. No sister to chill with in our underwear complaining about the lack of A/C in Deutschland. No friends to giggle with or to dance the night away in a techno club.

How is possible to feel so sad and then be so ready to leave that I can't wait 7 whole days? I have only been waiting for Fiji since Febs 2007! I'm so ready to meet new friends and challenge myself in a new way. I read the realistic (and disheartening) PC pamphlet "A Few Minor Adjustments" about all the cultural hardships I'm about to face and I thought, holy hell. This will be tough. And I still want to go. I'm so ready for this. Right? Right.