Noqu ika (my fish)

Everyone in Fiji has a family and every family in Fiji has a mascot. I have a family and thus I have a mascot. Over the hundreds of years of Fijian life, these mascots have become symbols of one's sexuality, genitals, libido, etc. These English words don't exist in Fijian so there's only one word to express my mascot, "Busa". This is actually a taboo word and never to be spoken aloud by me or any member of my family who happens to be a B***. I am also forbidden to eat b*** which is a kind of funky looking fish. I am a fish, but others are trees, fruits (like coconuts) or flowers (like a hibiscus).

The big joke is to ask another family how their mascot is. They ask me "Amy, how's your b***?" And I reply with "How's your tui (a different fish)?" The humor doesn't translate into English, but let me assure you it's hours of fun for us. It's a way to flirt really so I would typically ask a male and he would ask me. One guy in my village is a large stone (vatu)! That's probably my favorite mascot. "How's your stone?" That's sexual in any language. It's fun to say my b*** is hot or tired or hungry. Things of that nature. Since I am a member of the chiefly family, and a white person, everyone in my district knows my fish and likes to ask me about it.

So I am visiting a different village. Doing some screen printing workshops which I organized, gloat gloat. This village is coastal and notorious for serving fish for lunch. Awesome. It's nearing time to eat and the women say "Amy you're having b*** for lunch!" I reply "No, it's taboo!" And they all laugh. But then I sit down to lunch and there I am, my fish laid out for the whole world to see, my fish placed right in front of me! So this is obviously a joke, but still I can't eat it. They all laugh and bring me a different plate of fish and 'apologize for their error' even though they knew exactly what they were doing.

Basically, this is one of my favorite jokes. At this time, I have a very unfortunate boil on the inside of my right thigh. The new joke around the village is that my b*** likes to eat boils for dinner. Probably the grossest thing I've ever heard, but oh so funny in Fijian.