Here's the letter I just had to write...
Hey everyone,
I want you all to know what's going on, but I can't handle calling everyone individually to tell you the bad news. I am no going to Vanuatu.
I got a call today from PC medical clearance and I am not cleared to go. About a month ago I had an abnormal pap smear and I need to have a follow-up test (colposcopy). I thought it would be no big deal, but apparently in this part of the world, there is no one to provide the type of gynecological care PC wants to provide to ensure I am healthy and safe.
That being said, I am not allowed to go to Vanuatu due to medical reasons. I know I have to get the colposcopy, and have another pap in 4-6 months. If it comes back normal then I can be cleared to leave for PC. They might send me to Vanuatu if there's a space available, but they might send me somewhere else. Honestly I don't want to go anywhere else. I'm being stubborn and my heart is set on a little chain of islands in the Pacific. I also might be put at the end of the list to await an assignment and another year of nothing/planning. You all know how set I was on Vanuatu, even after learning about the foot-long poisonous centipedes, the humidity and the natural disasters, I was still hell bent on going. So at this point I'm not sure if I want to go somewhere else or wait until later in life to do PC or just give up on the whole thing. The foundation of my entire future was based on the experience I would receive in PC so this is a huge upset for me. I have no idea where to go from here and I'm extremely sad about it all.
Once again, I'm sorry to tell you all this in an email, but I just can't really handle telling you face to face or even over the phone. Feel free to tell anyone I may have missed on the mailing list. Thanks for all your support throughout this whole process.
Yeah that's it. I can't even express how devastated I am. There are no words. I don't want to do say think read eat anything. Everything hurts.
I have never been so disappointed.
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