you know

I used to white girl freestyle back in the day when I would get drunk. I mean, I could do a couple lines at least that rhymed a little and sounded funny enough to entertain my inebriated friends. Yesterday I watched a documentary about freestyling and it made me want two things:
1. to be black
2. to be witty enough to freestyle so I can battle

This is one of the funniest battles of the doc. supernatural v juice

so. good.

I'm in a glass case of emotion!

This past week has been silly. I realized I should have some patience and things will turn out ok. I freaked out a little about PC telling me I wasn't going to Vanuatu, but when they told me it sounded like I wasn't going there or anywhere. The next day I called back and they had already found another program for me in Fiji. So I accepted it this morning and hopefully my test results will come back ok and I'll be on my way to the beautiful (and bug-infested) islands of Fiji on May 18th! That means I'll be here for Steph's birthday, my birthday, mike's birthday (well sort of, his IS the 18th), the tour de georgia (possibly) and my cousin's wedding! And I think I'll try to visit Vanuatu for a little R & R, if for no other reason but to spend the vatu Mike (so diligently) acquired for me!

Until I actually leave, please pray, think happy thoughts, light candles for me, whatever you do for good things to happen, do all those things and hopefully everything will go smoothly, no? Aside from my ridiculous breakdown, this week has been pretty good. I bought some new sneakers (red ones!) because I have convinced myself that I should run a 5k before I leave. This will be a stepping stone towards my true goal of running a real 26.2 mile marathon one day. Go big or go home.

Sike, I'm not going to Vanuatu.

Here's the letter I just had to write...
Hey everyone,

I want you all to know what's going on, but I can't handle calling everyone individually to tell you the bad news. I am no going to Vanuatu.

I got a call today from PC medical clearance and I am not cleared to go. About a month ago I had an abnormal pap smear and I need to have a follow-up test (colposcopy). I thought it would be no big deal, but apparently in this part of the world, there is no one to provide the type of gynecological care PC wants to provide to ensure I am healthy and safe.

That being said, I am not allowed to go to Vanuatu due to medical reasons. I know I have to get the colposcopy, and have another pap in 4-6 months. If it comes back normal then I can be cleared to leave for PC. They might send me to Vanuatu if there's a space available, but they might send me somewhere else. Honestly I don't want to go anywhere else. I'm being stubborn and my heart is set on a little chain of islands in the Pacific. I also might be put at the end of the list to await an assignment and another year of nothing/planning. You all know how set I was on Vanuatu, even after learning about the foot-long poisonous centipedes, the humidity and the natural disasters, I was still hell bent on going. So at this point I'm not sure if I want to go somewhere else or wait until later in life to do PC or just give up on the whole thing. The foundation of my entire future was based on the experience I would receive in PC so this is a huge upset for me. I have no idea where to go from here and I'm extremely sad about it all.

Once again, I'm sorry to tell you all this in an email, but I just can't really handle telling you face to face or even over the phone. Feel free to tell anyone I may have missed on the mailing list. Thanks for all your support throughout this whole process.


Yeah that's it. I can't even express how devastated I am. There are no words. I don't want to do say think read eat anything. Everything hurts.
I have never been so disappointed.

So close I can taste it!

Bah, so I broke down and got a blog. Apparently it's a great way for people to read all about what I'm doing. Too many people have suggested it for me not to do it so, here we go. However, I'll be honest, I am really good at starting things like this and not finishing them. This personal track record does not bode well for this blog. I will do my best though.

At this point in my journey, I am 17 days away from my departure! It's hard to believe that it's finally here. I know that's cliche, but oh so true. I've already started packing and I'm trying to limit what I pack. I can just imagine trudging across sand with 2 suitcases and a backpack. It may paint a funny picture, but I'm not looking forward to that. So I'm trying to limit myself to one suitcase and a backpack...We'll see how that ends up. I have a bunch of stuff already, but I still need to buy a harmonica, a pocket knife, a bottle opener and some other miscellaneous items!

I have grandiose plans for my time on 'the island' and I'm excited to see if those actually work out. For instance, I want to grow a garden, learn to play the blues on the harmonica, maybe learn to weave, maybe get a weave (haha), learn to cook, learn to cook organic, learn some new languages, get a farmer tan, find a ww2 plane stuffed with drugs and a the remains of a nigerian priest, and snorkel in a coral reef. All these and more! (Considering I haven't even tapped into my actual work goals, but I think those will become more apparent once I figure out exactly what I'll be doing. "It all depends on your site.") But the list goes on and on. So for now, I will dream about all my adventures and bask in my excitement, while stuffing myself silly with fast food and chocolate, and pop culture!